Please
by Sing Lullabys
Summary: Go to your laughing whore. I will always be here. Always.


The sound of laughing is causing my ears to bleed. That infernal noise isn't permitted here. Who dares cross that thick line? This is the Palace not some playground. The people here are stern, not silly school children.

I see, it is _him_ and the **whore**. He is mine. We have been destined to be since we were born. Our parents were friends; we were childhood friends. Hell, I was his first kiss. Also, I lost my virginity to him. Zuko. Mai. Those two names are recited throughout the Fire Nation. I am his future queen. I am the future bearer of his children. I am the woman who will be there by his deathbed.

Our relationship is the shining light in this destroyed nation. After the war, we are the golden couple. Our relationship displayed the strength of the Fire Nation. The Fire Lord is with a powerful Fire Nation girl, not some Water Bender skank. Zuko. Mai. We are one being.

There they are, in the middle of the damn courtyard, right by the infernal fountain. It is the same fountain where we fell into together as children. There she is leaning against him eating an apple. Her very presence makes the place brighten. His pale face now has a beautiful glow about it. Why don't you just fuck her now? His amber eyes are no longer cold. Whenever he looks at me, all I see in his eyes is business and stiffness. Yet there he is with that harlot. He acts as if he isn't some ruler and she isn't some ambassador. They are simply a boy and a girl.

The way her arm grazes his is downright disgusting. I feel as if I am to throw up my breakfast. I am the future Mrs. Zuko. She can never fill in my shoes. I am a noble and she a peasant born. I recite these lines over and over in my head. I am Mai. He is Zuko. He will never stray. He won't.

I turn and start to briskly walk down the walkway. I pretend I didn't see him caress her cheek or her brush her hand across his scar. I am a lady and I must turn a blind eye to the wandering interest of my lord. He is my protector and I am his wife. I am supposed to be supportive of him. He might pay attention to a new girl each month but I am the one he will always return to. I am a lady and I must not be disturbed by my lord's actions.

The patter of footsteps behind me causes me to hide behind a drapery. The two of them run by giggling the whole way. He becomes a human whenever he is around her. He releases the stress built up in him. She simply has to smile his way and he is a boy again. They run around while the court simply looks the other way. They think they are so discreet but in actuality the whole world knows. Even the naïve Avatar knows of the slut's ways. He tries not to be hurt but sometimes it is just too hard.

At night it is even worse. I know he has once again become the Blue Spirit. Whenever he thinks I am asleep he creeps out of the Palace. Little does he know that I let him leave despite each crack it creates on my heart. Of course I feel the cold next to me when he gets up. He no longer has sex with me. He simply states he is tired from work and he would rather just sleep. The only reason he even comes to my chamber is too keep up appearances. I just lay there alone in my bed wondering where my knight in shining armor went. He went to be with another maiden.

Sure the silks are nice. The pastries are perfect. The servants are great. The one thing I truly need is him. He may be _with_ me but he is truly hers. How could I ever compare to that tramp? She has the tanned skin, the loving nature and that goddamned laugh. So maybe I am cold, plain and I barely ever break a smile. I am all he needs. Zuko. Mai. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

Now I am sitting at the gates to the palace. It is the darkest of night. I am silently waiting for him to come back. Maybe I might see a swish of black cloth on a rooftop. I know it is unlikely. They are probably of in a secluded place doing Agni knows what. I have played the part of the noble lady, the constant partner, and the forgotten lover. I have been loyal to him. I have never strayed even when I had offers. I may not be some exotic beauty but I am attractive. Instead I chose to be with him. I chose this suffering because I must be some type of masochist. But now, I finally realize, the last part I am to play is the one who set him free.

I am the knives expert. There is no one who can outdo me. They will find my body bled out from a small wound caused by one of my knives. My knives have been the only ones who were actually there. I open my sleeve and peer inside. There it is, the bejeweled dagger I received from Zuko on my birthday.

I slide it out and let it rest in my hand. Then ever so slowly I pull it across my neck, right across the jugular. I can feel the blood leave me. It is so warm, like his touch once was. I fall to the ground and close my eyes. There are shouts from the guards but all of that is simply fading. The grounds turn into one big blur, like a water painting. The end is close; I feel no pain only satisfaction. Love me now, _**please**_.

A/N: Kind of angsty. I liked to portray Zutara from a Mai perspective. I mean she has always been there. Well review. Hate it? Love it? Wish me dead? Come on let me know


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